Limericks on Animals

These poems were originally published over at Potluck Magazine. They are all based on the real-life oddities of animals.


The Smartest Sloth

Three-toed sloth,

No teeth and no sense of self,

More evolved than his cousin, the two-toed dunce,

He watches the world race by on his canopy shelf.

After a grueling trek every week, he pees just once.

Penguin Love

When a boy penguin and a girl penguin meet,

He uncovers the smoothest, most splendid stone.

He rolls it warily to her outstretched feet, and

Then, the best three minutes he’s ever known.

Sea Slug Sex

In a pool of jelly, wet skin on wet skin,

At last the subtle seal slug finishes his sensual sin.

It pulls its dripping member across their marriage bed,

And stabs his exhausted lover in her unassuming head.